You've Been Goosed

I see a lot of fun things when we're shopping to stage a house.  I get a lot of personal shopping done as well:c)  I have had two new purses since I started my job, a new pair of sunglasses, new dining room curtains, the accompanying rod, and several pairs of shoes. 

Every time I come home with something Shawn will say, "I knew this job was going to cost me."  The fact that these items were purchased at a great discount doesn't always impress him.

So he was happy when on a recent day at work all I came home with was this picture.

How did I ever live my life without a cell phone camera?

Prank Night

Even though I was in four musicals in junior high and high school I had never heard of prank night.

Until Saturday that is.

I was hiding in the auditorium until it was time to tell anxious people that there were no tickets left (that's really something you have to work up to) when one of the leads came in with Bitter Orange. He was telling a few of the other cast members about it and one brave soul even volunteered to try it. Apparently Bitter Orange is a spray to keep cats and dogs away from areas. The taste of it will ensure that they don't ever go there again. When I asked where they were planning on putting it I got the answer I was expecting but afraid of.

The whistle.I couldn't help it, I cracked up. I bent over with laughter. Tears came out of my eyes. And then I did the unthinkable. I tasted it. My mouth will never be the same. After my eyes stopped watering I headed to the water fountain and drank until I thought I'd float. And then I dug through my camera bag searching for gum. It took nearly an hour before I couldn't taste it anymore.

When the musical got to the scene where Captain Von Trapp blew it for the first time I was poised in the back with my telephoto lens on ready for the reaction. He is such a good actor that it didn't phase him a bit.

But when Maria had to blow it?

It took her three tries.

I was poised and ready when Mother Abbess was sitting at her desk, but she didn't react to the scary picture hidden in her paperwork. And when Maria looked at herself in her wedding gown with a hand mirror she didn't crack a smile when she saw the funny picture taped to it.

And who was behind the pranks? That would be the director. She was in her fair share of musicals in college and learned all about pranks. She made sure that nothing would cause harm or disrupt anything, but still made it fun.

It just makes me love her even more.

Random Found Pictures

It's that time again! Wow, it's been a while. Since I have a ton of things on my plate right now, and no time to put actual thought into a post, let's delve into the depths of my hard drive.

Shall we?

Let's!!

But first, don't you just love the word 'delve'?

Yep, me too.

Just checking.Now wasn't that fun?

You've Been Warned

We are blessed at our school to have a wonder, amazing, awesome choir teacher for K-6th grades. She is also a friend of mine and we attend church together and are in the same Sunday school class. I love her. It's that time of year though when she is over committed. With two honor choirs and over 50 students involved she spends a lot of time at school after hours. McKinley and Kennedy have three practices a week from 3-4. After these choirs are over it's time for the All School Musical. She puts in many long hours for that.

Reagan and I really enjoy staying for the practices. The students singing are the best at the school so it's a really good sound coming out of them! I had to run in her office to borrow something recently and saw this.I love it!

Since I am going to be out of town five of the next nine days because of choirs, I can understand perfectly!

Well, now I've seen everything

My last official, paying job was a school bus driver for a local school system. Because of the timing of the three different schools we had up to 30 minutes after we dropped off the high schoolers and before we picked up the middle schoolers. A group of us would meet at McDonald's and have breakfast and talk. Many times it was to get warm or cool because of the temperature inside the bus. There was a worker there who dressed for every holiday. Even Flag Day. She had an outfit for everything. After I had Reagan I became a full time domestic goddess and gave up my job and breakfasts out each morning.

Imagine how happy I was when that little lady became the greeter at the Wal-Mart I visit. And of course, the costumes came with her. She even created some more. Today I just had to take a picture.Really, I don't have any more words.

Just visit here for more Wal-Mart folks. My little Christmas tree lady has nothing on some of those people!

Facebook Funnies

It's that time again. Time to share some of my funny friends with you. I look forward to their status updates every day.

Jonathan-I met him last year when he and his son joined the All-State group that made the trip out of town. He was the only dad and he handled it very well. In the first day he had pushed a car up an icy slope while holding onto the owner who slipped while pushing. He then drove several of us to dinner and then kidnapped us when his GPS went wacky and we off-roaded for a while. Every time he greets me he calls me by my full Facebook name. First, maiden, and last. I can't help but laugh. When I asked his middle name so I could return the favor he told me it was 'Danger'.

I'm not entirely sure, but I think he might be obsessed with Chuck Norris. See what you think.

-Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness, and possibly foot sized bruises on the face.

-Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

-Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Cesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother's womb.

-When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

-Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

-Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your butt, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.



Karen-I shared her last time. Her dry humor gets me every time!

-Just let people think you're an idiot instead of opening your mouth and proving it.

-Facebook wants me to write on my daughter's wall to "re-connect" with her. How connected does Facebook want us. She acts like me. She looks like me. She's got my DNA. What else does Facebook want from me?

-ya know the expression "looks like he's been beat with an ugly stick"? well, it's been upgraded to "looks like he's been beaten with a 9 iron"

-Don't let this out of the bag....but this weekend Mike and I are gonna crash a big party in Washington DC, have pictures and video taken and then try to say it never happened. OH....and I'm gonna brag about it on my Facebook page.

-washes her mouth out with chocolate every time I say the word exercise.



Mark-I've known Mark since middle school. He was funny then but now, watch out! He cracks me up every time I see him. We serve on a board together and he always has something funny to say at meetings. I sometimes type my own status updates wondering if it's funny enough to get a comment from him.

-Why do girls need a special bra just to do push ups?

-I got EXACTLY what i wanted for my Birthday....i stopped at Coit's and got me 3 orders of crispy bacon! It is all gone but every few minutes i sniff my fingers just to relive the delicious memory.

-My "BirthWEEK" celebration goes from December 1st until December 7th. Feel free to celebrate my birth anytime during "BirthWEEK". I love Mexican food so feel free to lift a nacho or a taco up in the air in my honor.

-I replaced both faucets in the kids' bathroom, and i rebuilt the kitchen sink faucet. With all of the plumbing i did i am suddenly getting the urge to show people my crack.

-Our health is failing us all probably because we don't use suppositories anymore. When we were kids it didn't matter if we had an upset stomach, a fever or a skinned knee, we got a suppository for it. I heard that word last night (bet you are wondering how that came up in conversation) and man it brought back a lot of suppressed memories.

-Nothing good can happen if you fail to replace the empty toilet paper roll.

-"The cool thing about FaceBook is that you can say anything and assign to quote to anyone." - Abraham Lincoln


John-He is lucky enough to be married to the Elizabeth I blogged about last time. I didn't know he had this sense of humor until we became Facebook friends. I've enjoyed every moment since.

-I'm like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

-I reserve the right to peel my hard boiled eggs at my desk.

-I do whatever the voices in my wife's head tell me to do.

-the golf course is calling my name. A little louder please my wife can't hear you.

-filet with my mignon and a glass of merlot. Oh yeah.



David-We grew up at the same church but he is much older than me:) We also worked at Golden Bell together and I am not ashamed to say that I had a bit of a crush on him. He's also this guy.

-Due to my love of honky tonk country music and men's fashion, I have been officially called "metrorednexual".

-I've cleared it with my wife, but should she die prematurely, I have been cleared to pursue Carrie Underwood as my next wife. Strictly for her speaking skills, of course.

-in Birmingham, Alabama. Home of where I almost got killed by lightening 2 years ago, and home of Sam Bradford's surgically repaired shoulder. Ahhh, the memories!



Julie-we grew up going to school together. She has, and still is, one of the most fun people I have ever been around. She is the person responsible for the name tags in this post.

-what do you give someone who has everything? Hmmmm .... a burglar alarm!

-if today is yesterday's tomorrow what did you promise to do tomorrow yesterday?

-Are you kidding? So, I see hundreds of "Meet Single Guys" ads on FB. But in one of them - the guy is cute, but wait! There's a guy's arm around his shoulder. What!? You're kidding! Who puts these things together?

-Christmas brings the big question of where to pay how much for how many of which kind of what to give to whom.

-Redemption comes in various forms. I love having a teenager that can make ice cream runs to the store!

-he who laughs last is probably the one who intended to tell the story later.


Really, this is the reason I spend too much time on Facebook! Wouldn't you?

Need a laugh?

I sent a handwritten note in the girl's lunches every day. I've been doing it since McKinley started 1st grade. You should know that by now, I'm running out of things to say. McKinley recently complained about the lack of good material. The next morning she asked to write her own. Yes, a note to herself. I luckily snuck it out, showed it to Shawn, and snapped a picture.'Oh self! You are georgeous! You're also so smart & funny.
Remember! Don't let Phftttttt run you life! '

I knew I had to sneak a peek when she asked me how to spell 'Phftttttt'!

We'll be discussing some English and grammatical high points later today:)

Well isn't that special?

Even though I can't eat Mexican food because of my MSG allergy I still go to a lot of Mexican restaurants with friends and family who haven't realized it is possible to live without it:)

Luckily the one I went to this summer was two doors down from Pei Wei, the happiest place on earth!

Even though I sat in the Mexican restaurant and ate Asian food, I felt bad when I read the menu and noticed they'd named something after me. But on a different note, I may have found a place for the next Funk Family reunion.

Facebook Funnies

I am blessed to have over 700 friends on Facebook. I personally know all but two of them. I don't add people who I don't know, even if we have friends in common. But I made an exception for two amazing bloggers who I follow.

Ree Drummond & Kelly.

I love them both and knew they were trustworthy.

The others are friends from school, church, summer jobs, vacations, or family. I have loved catching up with everyone and finding what became of them after they left my life. Well, some people I see every day of my life, they're just double blessings:)

I get daily laughs from several of them when I read their status updates. I just have to share.

Steve-we worked together at Golden Bell. He asked me once to give him a haircut. He didn't care at all that I'd never done it before. Sure made for a fun afternoon!

-justifies Pop Tart® consumption: they now come with 20% USRDA of fiber! Eureka!!! So all of us need to eat five a day!!!

-figures that those teensy weensy places that you cut while shaving are somehow connected directly to your aorta. Seriously – there’s an ensuing bloodbath. The hotel staff is going to think I cleaned up after a murder. I’m going to come back to my ...hotel with crime-scene tape on my door. CSI Marriott…

-finds that 4 out of every 3 people have difficulty with fractions.

-wonders if swines get Human Flu... hmmm..

-seeks for a longer palindrome than: Go hang a salami Im a lasagna hog Anyone?


Elizabeth-we go to Sunday School together. She has a laugh that startles people but makes me start laughing until I cry!

-Convinced her doctor that SURELY this weight gain is the result of a thyroid condition. Just left the lab with fingers crossed....I also asked her to make a copy of a recipe out of a magazine that was in the exam room. Do you think I was sending mixed messages? :)

-Is going on record to say that if the school day is lengthened and schools are open on weekends, I quit. Bad idea, Mr. President.

-Has concluded that okay, maybe she is a little dingy. Is there a support group?

-Is watching Biggest Loser and thinking maybe she really should skip the Oreos tonight....


John-I also worked with him at Golden Bell. He met his future wife there and they eventually settled near us. They are the parents of the amazing Mitchell.

-Kanye West just called! He sez that President Obama also deserves Taylor Swifts VMA! Man, if Obama can win the Heisman & the Neville Chamberlain Distinguished service medal this year it will be quite an awards season haul! This presents a very ...practical dilemma for the press: How to capture all the greatness that IS Tebow and Obama in a single photo/video! Believe!!

-wow. the stuff you see on a tropical vacation is mind boggling! apparently, a large # of cruise ship and resort rooms don't come with mirrors. i need a camera crew!

-hello stress...can you please get off my neck. i think there is a legit chance that i have been in a-fib for most of this week.


Deanne-this girl and I have a fun story! We met on the Weight Watchers message boards, became myspace friends, and then both ended up as friends on Facebook. Interesting how she always found me...anyway. We just met in person last month after years of talking about doing it. She's a blast!

-OMGracious! Pumpkin Spice creamer, oh how I missed you so. I could just hug my coffee.

- There's a dead, beheaded body in my garage. (Luckily it was a deer. Unluckily, she posted a picture.)

-is currently torturing the DirecTV guy with "my" music. lol. Take that!


Karen-her husband used to be on staff at our church and she is the secretary at our middle school.

-Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

-feels like I've been ate by a coyote and crapped off a cliff.

-carries a lighter. I don't smoke; I just really like certain songs.

-Bummer! I was counting on going to Chicago in 2016. Now what am I going to do that week?

-Kanye West interrupted my status update and said Beyonce's was better. Dangit!

-Mike: I think I'm gonna put my name on my license plate. Alex: Mom does the same thing to my underwear. Mike: Mom puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit down?

-'s principal is undermining the middle school one box of donuts at a time.


Lisa-oh Lisa. She was the kindergarten teacher for all of my girls. Working in her classroom was a weekly treat. She introduced me to her mother by saying, "This is Stephanie. I love her. She gets my humor." How can you not love that!

-wonders how much bacteria is growing in Paula Dean's diamond rings.

-If you're the person who bought all the boys 6-18 month size socks at Wal-Mart in the last 24 hours...I'm looking for you!

-What does it say about me that I am so excited about big trash day next week that I can hardly think about anything else?

-has good news to report. For the 1st time ever, I bought a potted plant in May and it has survived until September. I am emerging as a gardener!

-is wondering if EVERYONE is sick. Boy, for some of you, I'm glad our relationship is just virtual.

-received a $1.43 rebate check from Sallie Mae today. It seems that I overpaid on my student loan. Interestingly enough, I paid that off 3 years ago. Where is my 4% interest compounded annually on that like they charged me? I could get a meal deal instead of just the Route 44.

-'s husband came home early and caught me...Dusting! Whew-hoo!

-has an important announcement for all medical professionals and scientific sorts. I have recently cleaned out my refrigerator and have run into some cultures that I think could have great significance. Please let me know if you are interested in my specimens.


See how blessed I am?! I have people like this making me laugh on a daily basis. I try every day to be as off the wall and funny as them.

Wish me luck.

We're Famous!!

Well, sort of.

Shawn's fashinable hairdo for Reagan at a soccer game had me excited to submit it to my new favorite website.

Check us out!

There I Fixed It.com

Random Found Pictures

It's that time again!

Random Found Pictures!!!

Let's pause for the cheers from the fans.

And here we go. Such an interesting life I lead.......

There I Fixed It

Need a laugh?

Need to kill a few hours?

Well look no further than my new favorite website.

There I Fixed It

I laughed until I cried.

Go, take a look.

And report back. I'd like to hear which is your favorite. My personal favorite is the car colored in with Sharpie.

I was lucky enough to get a picture last weekend that I recently submitted. I can't wait to see if they post it.

Would you like to see??

Are you sure??

This is what happens when I was in another town with McKinley for an audition and Shawn and Reagan had to leave for a soccer game. It was the only thing he had in the car.

There, he fixed it.

Enough Said

Hee hee.

Just kidding:c)

Let's pause for another commercial break...

There are two more days of vacation left...but I'm not doing it today. Much to do before leaving town (don't try to rob me, we have a house sitter, a dog, and an alarm), a sick girlie at home, and feet in bad need of a pedicure!

I read this today while wasting 35 minutes on the computer. Don't judge me, I let myself have 30 or so minutes every morning before I start the daily grind.

It's from my new favorite blog, Now That's Nifty.

I was laughing and agreeing with almost every one of them! And we still have an old Nintendo, and the girls pull it out and blow every single time!

Go enjoy a laugh for yourself. Take 40 minutes, I insist:c)

Let's pause for a commercial break

Life has gotten in the way of my vacation re-cap. But come one, who needed a break from the tedious day by day journey of my vacation blogs?

If you really feel that way...don't tell me. I couldn't handle it.

But after reading this post on a blog that I follow, I had to share.

Now That's Nifty

Gave me some ideas on what to do when Jackie 'O' goes to the groomer on Tuesday.

Which one should we do? Growing up with a pet peacock, I'm leaning more towards one of those:c)

How rude!

While shopping for cologne for Shawn, McKinley and I came across this.

I was so offended.
And because I know you won't be able to read the fine print....

Dirty English

De-Funk Deodorant

How. Rude.

Stefunk

Need a laugh?

This made me laugh out loud while standing in Hobby Lobby.

Wish I had a place in my house for it.

Luckily I have a place on my blog for it:c)

Need another laugh?

I've fallen in deep like with another website.

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Hope you enjoy!

Need a laugh?

Please go watch this video on a blog that I follow. It will put a big smile on your face!

http://www.ourlittlehaus.com/blog/2009/7/22/dancing-into-forever.html