Facebook Funniest

All these times that I've shared my funny Facebook friends I've left the most hilarious person out! How I overlooked this fabulous person I don't know.

So are you ready??

Here we go.

It's ME!!!!!

If you think I'm funny here you should see me when I get on Facebook and Twitter. I have them rolling in the aisles.

Here are a few of my favorites.

*For each sneeze that I have today I have a mini ab workout. I should have a 6 pack by morning.

*I'm home with the only democrat in our house. I'm not sure how she feels about health care reform but at the moment she just feels sick.

*I decided today was the day to clean out the attic. After all, it's been 9 years. We've accumulated enough to either start our own country or have a garage sale.

*I'm definitely counting the upcoming Wal-Mart trip toward my calorie burning today. If I buy a lot and run down the aisles with the cart I think I can get some good numbers. Stay tuned for how this theory works out.

*I just filled up my car for the 5th time in 13 days. Great way to kiss $300 goodbye.

*I was chased by a roadrunner today. No lie.

*I wonder if this is why I have a weight problem. I wanted clementines for breakfast and we're out...so I had a waffle.

*Let it be known-Princess Bride never gets old. Never. That is all.

*I honestly believe that Junior Mints and a Sonic Diet Dr Pepper with cherry and easy ice would make me feel 100% better. Anyone feel led to purchase and deliver??

Let me just say, one friend commented and said if she'd known earlier she would have. Another friend sent me a text and said she was out and would be over soon. Don't I have the best friends??

*I would like to know who hit me in the head with a 2 x 4 while I was sleeping.

Here are a few responses: The 2 x 4 fairy?? - I'm so sorry. Did I get the wrong house? My apologies.

*I've eaten 18 clementines in the last two and a half days. I expect to look like I have an 80's spray tan soon. In unrelated news...I need a manicure.

*I just fried two pounds of bacon. My house, and quite possibly the block, smell terrific.

*When Hootie became a country singer did he leave the Blowfish floundering?

*I am living in a house with no milk, eggs, butter, cereal, or oatmeal. That frightens me to my very core.

*I just found out it's a lot easier to treat your family to donuts when your purse is in the car when you get to the donut place.

*I am cracking up that McKinley just texted "No oyster oy" to someone because even though her eyes are dilated she insists she can see.

*My steroid says to take after supper. Since I'm not eating at my Grandma's, I don't exactly know when that is.


Really and truly, I crack myself up!